Pinky's Alternative definitions of common Linux commands

wc: "water closet" Does this file have enough words in it to keep me entertained while I'm on the can?

ls: "let's see" Let's see what I actually named the file I saved last night at 2 A.M.

df: "da fudge" How da fudge did I use up 100 gigs?

less: I should check to make sure the changes I made really took, less I have to retype the whole dang thing.

tar: How in tar-nation does anyone remember the dang options for this stupid thing?

pwd: Where the hell am I?

cd ~/: Go /home/ user you're drunk.

gzip: Like winzip, but with more street-cred.

sudo: pseudo-root-thingy

su: God help you all... I... Am... Root.

yum: I was led to believe that redhat based distros would be more delicious, I was misled...

whoami: If you need to use this, you've been at the keyboard waaaaaayyyyyy too long.

Tabletization

Item 1: Being an account of my experience with Ubuntu Unity and Microsoft Windows 8 Consumer Preview, and why I worry their developers are smoking crack and why I wish developers wouldn't try to make their tablet and desktop/laptop versions use the same interface.

I recently tried out the new Windows 8 preview in a virtual machine. I won't be covering performance since I am running in a VM, and don't really consider that fair. First we'll discuss the good points... The install was easy and quick. It has solitaire...

Ok, now that we've got all that over with lets discuss the bad points. Now every one knows I've always dreamed of having my desktop be a giant start menu display, and since I can only focus on one thing at a time of course I would rather have the OS only display one program full screen at a time... I'm not one of those weird people that run two monitors so I can have space for the five things I'm tinkering with at the same time, this will work out great! Now yes I know I can click on the nice little desktop icon and get what appears to be a standard old school "this is what I'm used to" type interface, but its still limited, feels like it was thrown in to appease the jerks that complain about GUI's online... don't look at me like that... I have a life... stop laughing...

Was the classic start menu that annoying that now I have to move my mouse to the lower left hand corner to get back to the Tetris blocks? Or move to the extreme upper right to access settings? This wouldn't be that annoying on a touch screen but with a mouse its too out of the way to be intuitive or useful. I tend to use XFCE in Linux for the simple fact that pretty much everything is in your right click, its quick, its easy to adapt to and your standard old style menus are still there. Anyone who has ever done tech support knows, you move one little thing and you're getting calls left and right asking "Where is this, that or the other?" Major overhauls are not a good idea unless you're moving to something far more user friendly.

Windows 7 restored my faith in Microsoft making decent OS's, I maintain its the best they've done since XP, version 8 is making wonder if they suffer from the Star Trek curse, where every other release is horrible.

 I also started looking for a new Linux distro to dual boot with. I've been using Xubuntu primarily for desktop applications and vanilla Debian for server based, but I like to try out new ones from time to time to see if I'm missing out on anything. I'd heard that Ubuntu had released version 12 and decided, hey I like their offshoots, might as well give the original a try again.

I've had a few issue with the way Ubuntu handles things, I usually refer to it as a "Granny" distro, or the one you would give your grandmother to be able to check her email and facebook on. I don't like a system that comes with root disabled by default, and being a Debian fan, I'm used to a rock solid experience and I feel they roll out a changes a bit too soon in some cases. That being said they are one of the most popular distros and kind of a "gateway drug" into 'nix.

I loaded up an iso on a usb drive and fired up the 64 bit version.

... Its pretty... kinda... with big icons... It hit me, this isn't a new advanced well thought out revamp of the desktop, this is a tablet interface crammed on a desktop. I realize that Ubuntu is supposed to be Linux for the masses, easier to use and make the OS more appealing to the average person, but your average person doesn't even know what 'nix is unless they're friends with nerds... they buy a Mac if they're trying to get away from Windows. It is easy enough to install another frontend, but new users trying out Linux for the first time probably aren't going to be willing or even able to go about installing a new gui. Unity should have been included as an option, but not as the default interface. Do a google search for Ubuntu Unity, you'll find thousands of threads either bashing the hell out of it, or asking how to switch to gnome 3, or 2.

PC gamers have been dealing with the issue of Consolitis for years where a developer makes a cheap quick port of their console game to the PC and doesn't bother to make the interface work with the hardware. Skyrim is the latest greatest example of this, while a great game, the menu system is designed to be used with a controller, not a mouse. I see this new trend as Tabletization, or we won't bother to make two versions of the front end, we'll just throw the same thing on both and you'll eat it and like it. In the auto industry this would be like putting a steering wheel on a motorcycle, it don't fit, dangit.

Item 2: List of Offenders
Microsoft... again, Ubuntu

Item 3: Suggested Course of Action
If you're using a tablet grab Windows 8 for it, if not hold onto Windows 7 as long as possible. You'll notice they extended XP support until 7 came out since a lot of people wouldn't adopt Vista. Hopefully changes will be made before it hits the shelves, or 9 will be decent. For Linux users, SalineOS is nice, and Xubuntu and Kubuntu are still pretty sweet. Linux Mint is getting a lot of downloads here lately as well.

Carpei_Noctum - a brief intro

Hello to the Digitally Discontent. I figured I would give a
quick introduction before making my first official post. Though many would
consider me more, I consider myself merely an advanced user. I am no
self-proclaimed guru, or geek to any extent, I have been called a “nerd” and
accept it though it is not a term I would use to describe myself. I can
confidently take apart a computer, and put it back together. I know the
difference between ROM, RAM, Hard Drive, and the CPU and can give you an at
least logical, if not accurate description of what each does and how they work
together to comprise a system. There are a few things that I can diagnose and
even fix on my own, but then again there are MANY more things that I have to
get a tech to look at and figure out for me. I’m constantly learning though.

I am the child of a fairly formidable programmer, and I mean
old school… FORTRAN, COBOL (affectionately known as “Tobol”), Basic (not
visual) and many others, so everyone seems to think that I should know
everything there is to know about a computer. I can at the drop of a hat (if I
know the software) tell you what you need to run a certain program, but write
the programs… FORGET IT! I seem to be everyone’s “Computer friend” because I
have the patience for “users” (on the outside anyway) and can break it down
into layman’s terms without strangling someone most days.

So this is Carpei_Noctum. This is me Now on to my first
Discontent.

Users, Users EVERYWHERE!

Ironic title huh? Since I just introduced myself as an "advanced user".

As I stated in my introduction I tend to end up every one's "computer friend" so I end up the one everyone calls when they have frozen their computer, riddled it with viruses, or done something brilliant like completely re-install their OS not knowing what they are doing and it turns out all they needed to do was update a driver.

This last scenario is what I want to vent about. I have here in recent weeks become suddenly, though not truly unexpectedly, unemployed. It sucks here at Christmas, but what can you do right? Well the whole world suddenly thinks I am free for computer help at no charge because I have the free time... time I should be using to find a job. Anyway I digress. I have a fairly new "friend" that has latched on to me for many reasons, first off they are new to the area and don't know anyone, second our kids go to school and scouts together, so we end up in the same places often.

This new found friend learned quickly that I know more than they do about computers, no big deal, I'm used to that scenario. What bugs me though is the fact they know they have no clue beyond a facebook post how to actually USE a computer, much less maintain one, and their spouse is even more ignorant, I won't even go into what their kids don't know. SO I get a call one night, and my friend is in complete break down mode, frantic because of an error message about a driver, like the good "computer friend" I am I tried to decipher through the panic what the error was, sounded like a driver to me, I told them to calm down and that I couldn't do anything right then but I would be over the next morning to see what was going on. We agreed on a time, when I went over the next morning though I show up to a completely reformatted computer with few working drivers and a panicked friend because they thought they could "fix it" with their windows repair disk.

Begin banging head on table now... I sit down to no network drivers (and I forgot my laptop so I had no access to downloading one) no wireless drivers, and half hearted video drivers that had the screen skewed to a point that it was just barely readable. Thankfully I only live about five minutes away so going home to get my laptop and a network cable was no big deal beyond a mild aggravation. I run home, come back and try a little harder to understand WHAT this person has done and WHY? To no avail.

Long story short, after this reformat it took three days to get the machine back to where it was when they started... I think it is all fine and dandy, I've spent three days digging up drivers, downloading and testing drivers, re-installing software, and basically trying not to loose what shred of composure I had left. Thirty minutes after I get home from dropping the machine I get a call... "I'm getting that error again, do I need to reformat it again?"... of course I caved, got back in my car, and went to see what the problem was. "Wireless drivers missing" hmmmmm... didn't I just dig those up? Yes I did, for a Compaq... which was the right manufacturer... IF it were running on it's original manufacture software. I finally did what I should have the first day, I asked where the disk they used to reformat came from... "Oh a friend of mine gave it to me just before we moved? It's the right Windows isn't it, they said it was"... NOPE

Now as if I had good sense (and by this time I'm questioning that) I look at the system properties, strangely enough, the computer thinks it is a Dell Studio running on a dual core Celeron... blood on my forehead yet? No, but there is a slight dip in my desk now. Looked up drivers for a two year old Dell Studio wireless card and everything works like a charm. Weirdest thing I have seen so far... But hey if it works it works...

So I ask, why do people who know nothing, admit they know nothing, and call you for help, decide they can fix it themselves?? I would really like to know, is there some strange gratification in knowing that they can't do it?!!?? anyone with an answer please enlighten me. If not oh well... at this rate Carpei_noctum may seize more than the night.

Apologies and Views on Age and Tech

Please pardon me for my absence, the last few months have been... interesting, both wonderous, and much discontent, though not of the technical variety. I'm currently not working in IT, but hope to return soon. I've been meaning to write on a few issues. Do to time constraints these may be short and come in batches.

Item 1: Being a few thoughts on the tech field and how age is not a reliable indicator of ability.

With many professions, say carpentry, accounting, etc. it is usually the older people who have been doing it for years and years that have acquired the experience and know-how to best perform their work. The gray haired individual in the back can usually do more in their sleep than the kid just starting. I've found though in dealing with people I've met in the field, you can't really use the persons age as a litmus test of their abilities. I know of older gentlemen in the field that don't know their anus from a deep depression in the ground, and people half my age (I'm 33, if you're curious) that could send my ass back to school.

That is not to say however that tech is purely the domain of the young though. When I was dealing with telecommunications, I was schooled on bandwidth requirements by a woman whose voice would lead me to believe her pass-times were more sipping tea and crocheting... probably with a lot of cats in the house.

I've often said, two techs meeting is like two samurai sometimes. We tend to need to establish what the other person's knowledge is, and what level we will be able to talk to them on. One of the people I dealt with in a facility I serviced essentially refused to talk to me until I got him on the subject of Linux for a few minutes, after that he was like an entirely different person.

Crunched for time, so I'll probably be coming back to this at some point. Views, comments appreciated.

Item 2: List of Offenders
Myself, probably everyone at some point

Item 3: Suggested Course of Action:
Make no assumptions, neither undervalue or overvalue a persons abilities until you've talked with them a bit.

Proposition 56-10; computer competency usage legislation!

Ok, let me first start by saying that I'm not angry person and I love my job and for the most part the people that I help on a fairly consistent basis. Having said that I think I'm going to write my congressman to adapt into legislation a bill that will subject users to a standard dumbness test for computer use. A breathalyzer test of sorts. In my line of work I deal with people that use their computer to make a living for themselves by using the software we provide to trade stocks and follow the stock market, which is what makes my daily findings so disturbing. Its in this realm that I have found that the people who I deal with have way to much time and money and not enough smarts to even operate the very thing that has allowed them to do what they do. I feel that if you are able to write a 3 line code which will tell you when a price is crossing up or down through its 50 day moving average and has a stochastics movement of more the 10% should be able to change the mutha flipping wallpaper on the desktop or at the very least tell you what internet browser he is using. This legislation would basically weed out the the people that in essence are to dumb to get the help to use the computer properly and thus quit making my job difficult and extending my Excedrin migraine moments. Case in point, Mr. Omar Espinoza. Mr. Espinoza trades on 3 different markets for stocks, commodities, and other overseas options which would leave you to believe he is somewhat of a competent individual on a basic level yet when during a recent help desk session made the comment and I quote "I don't have period key on my keyboard". This is the type of lunacy that finds me far to often in my line of work. My legislation would basically eliminate these types of people from using the computer all together or a the very least have a DU designated user. Why are people who depend on the computer for everything they do such as making sure the lights, house note, car note and other bills get paid properly as well as just for everyday use, always the ones that are "not very good with computers!"!!!! When did not being able to use something well make you wanna go out and base your whole life around it? In any event, Proposition 560 will introduce standardized testing to all users that require more than a certain number of hours on the computer or will be using the computer for more than just web surfing and music downloads. This testing would also apply to those in the technical field as well. If one is or wants to be a tech or help desk agent, you should be able to configure a firewall or at least know where the dad gum exceptions list is and how to navigate to it. Also, if a help desk agent calls in to another help desk agent which is perfectly ok, the former should be able to accurately do a ping test or tell you if their own system is able to ping servers at all. I mean that's I.T. 101! Are you connected? Yes. Are you using a router? Yes. What IP are you getting? I don't know? WTF?!!!!! You don't know? Ok, go to the command prompt and run a ping test on this server address for me. How do I do that? WTF?!!!!! Are you freaking kidding me?? But I digress, hopefully my congressman won't let me down or at the very least help me bring light to a subject that haunts us dedicated tech agents to this very day. We can not continue to let this travesty go unwarranted any longer for I feel that I may actually jump through the phone and/or monitor and physically mame and injure someone!

End User Roundup Part 2

Item 1 Description of the type of End User's that drive me insane
continued from: http://digitaldiscontent.blogspot.com/2010/02/end-user-roundup-part-1.html

The constant "Victim":
This is the guy that keeps getting "hacked."
Pinky: Wow... that's a lot of porn on there.
User: Um, no, no I don't look at that stuff, I must... I must have been HACKED!!!!
Pinky: Um, ok.
User: Yeah, they keep trying to get to me.
Pinky: Um, ok, that's why its in a hidden folder called "User's Stash?"
User: ... Those dastardly miscreants!!!
Pinky: Indeed.

I once knew a lady in the days of dialup whose phone bill was double what it should be because of a dialer connecting to Zimbabwe. She claimed she had been hacked until I pointed out that she had three teenage boys in the house, and it was at least a bit more their fault.

Oh, and one quick question asker:
This is a cousin to the ones who like to watch that I covered in the first part. They sit and watch you fix their internet connection for the fiftieth time and always have "one quick question" that turns into a "Why don't you take Computers 101 class" type deal. I don't mind simple stuff that makes sense, like "How often should I run a backup," or "How do I start the virus scan," but stuff like "Can you tell me how to run PhotoShop real quick?" No. "My cousin says I can download movies with this napster thing." No. "What's that little moving thing on the screen?" NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

My friend told me its the flux capacitor:
At some point this user has spoken to someone that may or may not be familiar with the qualities of a hole within the ground and their own anus. This user however has presented them with about two minutes of description of the issue, and the psychic tech in front of them has told them to check something. At this point, no matter what you say, no matter how simply you put it, the user will not deviate from that being the problem.
Pinky: No, the power supply would not explain why all your money was transferred from your account to Australia.
User: But, So-and-so said...
Pinky: ARRGHHHHH!!!!!

One of my favorite adages comes from some old accountants I used to work with. They would have a customer come in and say, "My cousin says I can do this." The accountant would calmly ask them, "How much did you pay him for that information?" "Nothing." "Well that's what its worth."

The Miracle Seeker:
"Can I put a Geforce GTX in my 386 and play Crysis?"
... and lo the Pinky did say "GET THEE HENCE!!!!" and beateth him about the head. And there was much rejoicing.

The Lingo Impersonator
These users have picked up on a bit of the language, but haven't really mastered it yet.
"I don't have a mac address, I run a PC!!!!"

Item 2 List of Offenders:
Too many to list.

Item 3 Suggested Course of Action:
facepalm