End User Roundup Part 2

Item 1 Description of the type of End User's that drive me insane
continued from: http://digitaldiscontent.blogspot.com/2010/02/end-user-roundup-part-1.html

The constant "Victim":
This is the guy that keeps getting "hacked."
Pinky: Wow... that's a lot of porn on there.
User: Um, no, no I don't look at that stuff, I must... I must have been HACKED!!!!
Pinky: Um, ok.
User: Yeah, they keep trying to get to me.
Pinky: Um, ok, that's why its in a hidden folder called "User's Stash?"
User: ... Those dastardly miscreants!!!
Pinky: Indeed.

I once knew a lady in the days of dialup whose phone bill was double what it should be because of a dialer connecting to Zimbabwe. She claimed she had been hacked until I pointed out that she had three teenage boys in the house, and it was at least a bit more their fault.

Oh, and one quick question asker:
This is a cousin to the ones who like to watch that I covered in the first part. They sit and watch you fix their internet connection for the fiftieth time and always have "one quick question" that turns into a "Why don't you take Computers 101 class" type deal. I don't mind simple stuff that makes sense, like "How often should I run a backup," or "How do I start the virus scan," but stuff like "Can you tell me how to run PhotoShop real quick?" No. "My cousin says I can download movies with this napster thing." No. "What's that little moving thing on the screen?" NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

My friend told me its the flux capacitor:
At some point this user has spoken to someone that may or may not be familiar with the qualities of a hole within the ground and their own anus. This user however has presented them with about two minutes of description of the issue, and the psychic tech in front of them has told them to check something. At this point, no matter what you say, no matter how simply you put it, the user will not deviate from that being the problem.
Pinky: No, the power supply would not explain why all your money was transferred from your account to Australia.
User: But, So-and-so said...
Pinky: ARRGHHHHH!!!!!

One of my favorite adages comes from some old accountants I used to work with. They would have a customer come in and say, "My cousin says I can do this." The accountant would calmly ask them, "How much did you pay him for that information?" "Nothing." "Well that's what its worth."

The Miracle Seeker:
"Can I put a Geforce GTX in my 386 and play Crysis?"
... and lo the Pinky did say "GET THEE HENCE!!!!" and beateth him about the head. And there was much rejoicing.

The Lingo Impersonator
These users have picked up on a bit of the language, but haven't really mastered it yet.
"I don't have a mac address, I run a PC!!!!"

Item 2 List of Offenders:
Too many to list.

Item 3 Suggested Course of Action:
facepalm